Too often we allow ourselves to be judged on arbitrary abilities. And then we believe the judgement.
As a child, I always performed poorly in categories like "penmanship" and "art." I was often told that "maybe art isn't for you."
I believed this for years. I didn't view myself as "artistic" even though:
I'm an above-average writer
Can sing and act
I taught myself how to play some tunes on a guitar
I've designed several elements in my house
I've refinished furniture
The photograph on the top of this page? It's mine (it's OK, my own wife didn't believe I shot it either!).
You see, those teachers forced me into believing their narrowly defined version of "art" which kept me from believing I had my own talents and skills that would be considered artistic. Because I couldn't draw or paint..."art" wasn't going to be my thing. Worse, this belief kept me from exploring other artistic talents for the longest time. I wasted years of possible development (and enjoyment!) because I let someone else tell me what I could or couldn't become.
But I see managers, mentors and leaders do the same thing. The excuse I've often heard from managers is that they believe they are doing their people a "favor" by telling them they can't do a certain job.
Many of us are guilty of putting on the same narrow blinders as my former teachers did. In a prior job, a position opened up in a business development (read: sales) role. I threw my name in the hat and a higher up (who had never really had a conversation with me before) pulled me aside and said "I don't think you can do it, but go ahead and try."
We read article after article about leadership wanting passionate and driven people who are willing to jump in, fail and learn, yet, turn around and tell someone who does just that "sorry, you can't do it."
Absurd. In my short time there, I landed several new accounts and strengthened existing partnerships. Being successful isn't my point; if I had failed, this lesson still has merit. Most organizations want to create a learning environment, but then point out to their team what those individuals "can't" do. As a leader, we must help our team re-frame what they can and should be doing based on their skills and talents.
Most of you have probably heard this adage before, but for those that need a reminder: "If we judge a fish based upon how well it can climb a tree...the fish will always feel like a failure."
Our job as a leader and manager is to discover what it our people excel at and give them opportunities to explore the white-space around those talents and skills. Not only will your organization benefit from that growth, but you will create an environment that attracts the best talent to you. And there's one more benefit: you may set people on a new path that enables them to become the best version of themselves. And we always remember those leaders and mentors who helped us find our way. So...how do you want to be remembered?
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