After last week’s shocking events in Washington DC, I’ve started to see a narrative circle around social media about “who is at fault.” The narrative goes something like this: “All of this division is what they want.”
Before we unpack this, I want you to think about a position you hold. Whether it’s political, moral or religious, however, I want you to think about that position without stating nor demeaning your “opponent’s” position. State your philosophy or position without talking about what the other side allegedly wants to do. Or allegedly is. Or allegedly doesn’t stand for.
It’s hard, isn’t it?
You see, dear reader, there’s not some worldwide plot to divide us; no shadow government pulling our strings. Social media isn’t at the heart of dividing us. Neither is Big Tech nor "the media," no, no one but you is at the heart of it. This notion that there’s some entity out there pulling the strings recuses us of looking in the mirror. It makes us feel better. Because then? We’re not at fault.
But we are. The woman in the mirror looking back at you called people who think differently than her a “sheep.” The guy staring back at you called your fellow man “a fascist” or “a communist.”
There's an enormous amount of arrogance in believing that you are 100% “right” and the opposition is 100% “wrong.” And not just wrong…but evil because they hold a different ideology than you. There's so much ego when you don't think the other side can teach you something.
Think about the amount of arrogance you have that allows you to believe your research and facts are better, less biased and “righter” than other facts. That you, oh mighty Google-er, have done your research whilst no one else has; or at the very least, your research is superior. This falls into the 'sorry-not-sorry' category: the do your research clapback is a rallying cry of the not-so-critical-thinker-who-thinks-they-are-a-critical-thinker.
The sad reality is, you did all of the above without prompting. You typed the words. You did it in ALL CAPS. And you have to own those actions.
Abdicating the role you’ve played in contributing to division by placing blame on some ill-defined “them” is cowardly. And we cannot move forward while so many of you continue to play “whataboutism.” (Whataboutism: In order to justify my actions, I ask ‘what about this other loosely related action that happened in the past that was similar and therefore I have a license to do whatever I want because I think like a three year old. A critically thinking three year old, that is.’)
We live in a complicated world. Nuanced. And so many issues are bathed in swaths of grey. In order to justify and simplify our choices? We create heroes and villains. We’re kind of like Don Quixote, turning windmills into dragons.
Think about this last election…in one corner “fascism, Russian plants, the death of science and wanting women to be second class citizens.” In the other corner “communism/socialism, they’re coming for your guns and Starbucks will offer abortions along with your Mocha.”
Regardless of which political side you sit on…you likely read one of the statements as “that’s absurd” and the other as “that’s right!!”
Heroes and villains.
You can’t read one social media post about politics without it turning into a 1st grade shouting match with increasing rhetoric about the other party. Nothing about actual policy.
Just insults.
The reality? Both sides have warts. But we can’t admit that…we put our hero up on the pedestal because it helps us justify our vote. We vilify the other side in order to make our candidate’s warts seem insignificant. We feel better about ourselves because, hey, we're protecting society!
It’s far easier to parrot barbs and insults than to do the work of unwinding complicated political ideologies held by our candidates. It’s far easier to insult someone and write them off as “sheep” instead of considering if their thoughts and ideas warrant any consideration.
This past political season was not about policies. It was a shouting match. It was reduced to nonsensical political memes that were myopic. At best. So many of you were convinced that the other side held such outlandish positions; that 50% of the country wanted the US to fall. And so much of it fueled by conspiracies' that were proven false time and time again. Or at least, that's what "they" want you to think, right?
And you know what? We deserved every ounce of it. We don’t ask more out of our candidates; we don’t demand that they put country ahead of party. We don’t ask more out of ourselves and in fact? Right now you’re thinking “I only act that way because the other side does.” Read: whataboutism.
The real loser in this election cycle is our dignity. So many of you should be ashamed of how you behaved. Especially the so-called “Christians.” I have a whole post dedicated to you…so, moving on.
Our country used to be the envy of the world…a place where we, despite our differences, tried to come together for the greater good of our fellow person. A country that didn’t pound its’ chest about “greatness” but instead asked “how do we leave our country better for the next generation?” You know, the whole "ask not what your country can do for you..." thing? How many of us have forgotten that?
We used to let other countries talk about our greatness. We were too busy working for the generations to come. Our country was great not because it was fair and equitable for everyone...but that we continued to work towards becoming that nation. One that could be fair and equitable for all.
Patriotism, real patriotism, meant continually making our country better and better…not waving our little flags and telling people…like me…to “go to Canada if you don’t like it.”
Again, so myopic.
Our love of country should drive us to uncover every stone of injustice and correct it…not turn a blind eye to it. That’s not patriotism! Blind adoration isn’t what our country was founded on. It was founded on the promise of a better tomorrow. Not a great today. But a better tomorrow.
I’ll leave you with this last example: My son has, on multiple occasions, given me the finest compliment I’ve ever received (and ever will receive). He’s told me “dad, I want to be like you.” It’s humbling. It aches my soul. And every time I tell him “be better than me.” I recognize how much I could improve. How much better I could be. And I want that for him. I want him to be so much better than me. It’s not that I don’t “love” myself nor appreciate all that I am and all that I’ve accomplished…it’s just that I want more for him.
The same is true for our country. I love my country. But I want so much more for it. Even more equality. Even more opportunity. I love my country so much that I’m willing to see her warts because I want the next generation to have it even better than me…and the generation after that even better.
That’s love of country. Not this blind patriotism that has infected her. This notion that, if someone wants America to be even better…that we should “move to Canada” because that proves we somehow don't love where we live. That’s not patriotism! Stop waving your little flag and talking about your freedoms…206 some odd sovereign nations out there and 180 have freedom. Our own elitism is stopping us from continuing our upward trajectory. Your own notion of self-supremacy is blinding you from the work that needs to be done.
You want to show love of country? Stop vilifying 50% of our friends and neighbors. Stop letting politicians steal our national dignity. Stop blaming everyone and everything else for your actions and shitty behavior. We need to have hard conversations that are about ideology, opportunity and equality, not about scare tactics and hyper-generalized memes to try and out-shout other people.
Something to think about before you post that next demeaning meme and blame it on “them.”
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