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Writer's pictureBrian W Arbuckle

How Did We Get Here?


During the past week, I’ve been posting more and more ridiculous “productivity hacks.” Or, at least I hope you’ve realized that they were meant to be ridiculous. If not, surprise!


Why? Because too many out there (I’m looking at you “Linked In influencers”) have gone off-the-rails with “hustle culture.” And it’s impacting our lives.


Years ago, during an interview, the person interviewing me admitted that not only were they divorced, but it was likely that their current job that caused the divorce. The long hours. The stress. I asked this person if they had addressed it…they laughed and said “no, I probably work even more now.”


How the hell did we get here?


Why is that accepted? And worse…expected? And even more horribly…celebrated? This is what “hustle culture” gets you. A fancy title…some money, maybe a few awards. But at what cost?


When did working to live become a shameful pursuit? Now we're told that we should be “living to work.”


This was an actual post on Linked In, plus comments from various workers. There was an image of a few people sitting in front of their screens when it’s clearly dark outside:


“The vampire crew. Not unusual to see team members hit the floor at 5:30AM.”


The comments?

  • “I try to get in by 5AM.”

  • “Did you even go home the night before?!”

  • “Team No-Sleep Makes Money!”

  • “Our customers are doing big things, so, we need to be ready.”

  • “And we stayed late Friday!”

  • “Who needs sleep when work is the number one priority.”

These are real comments. By real people.


I think all work is honorable, so, I don’t say this next comment to dig at any profession or any work. That being said…I could understand this enthusiasm, maybe, if they were on a clinical-research team nearing a break-through on a cancer cure. Or maybe if they were part of a group discovering a new way to end hunger for children.


This post? It was from a marketing-technology company. There’s only 7,000 of those companies out there…so clearly, this is what the world needs. More Mar-Tech. More spam. More cold calls.


I digress.


It appalls me that these kinds of posts are celebrated. It appalls me that there were so many others feeding into this belief that work-no-balance is acceptable and required for success. That if you aren’t working 23 hours a day…you aren’t “hungry.” Give me a damn break!


Stephen Covey wrote “Begin With The End In Mind.” In it, he suggests writing your own eulogy. Picture friends and family standing around talking about you. Your spouse. Your children, your grand-children. What do you want said about you?


  • Bob, rest his soul…slayed those KPIs and OKRs!

  • Jane, you were the first one in the office and the last out! Well done!

  • Roger, you didn’t see your family, play catch with your kid, or take your wife out for your anniversary…but that bonus sure showed them how much you loved them!

  • Hey, Karen! Remember that super-cool vacation you all took to Hawaii? I mean…you were busy in the condo crushing it, but after seeing the pictures… your kids really liked the beach. Without you.

  • Carl, you rascal! You won the President-Excellence-Circle-Of-BS award!! TWICE! Remember that?!? Say…where is that award? You taking it with you?

The sad reality is, there are going to be those that read this and think I’m a 'slacker.' That I don’t believe in hard work. Who think that missing out on a few things like vacations and family dinners are acceptable because the “mission” (job) comes first; that the job comes above everything.


I’m not belittling hard work. Nor am I against setting and hitting goals. I am, however, belittling this “work above all else” philosophy that has become so prevalent. I’m completely opposed to the always-be-hustlin’ crowd.


You get one life. That’s it. The company you are crushing it for? When you die…your job will be posted within 48-72 hours. They will continue on without you. While you were busy building someone else’s dream…you never pursued yours. Those 50 more cold dials you made while dinner was getting cold and your spouse and kids were waiting for you? No one remembers them. No one.


Again, for those in the back: Work is important. It’s important to feel fulfilled in your pursuits and we should feel excited to pursue those things…but not to the point of sacrificing everything else.


Someday…you will die. Will you be alone? Will you think back to all the opportunities you missed out on while you clutch onto your Circle-Of-President-Golden-Stars-BS award? Will that comfort you?


Or…will you pass with loved ones surrounding you? Will they be sharing stories of backyard BBQs, days relaxing at the pool, epic vacations and "remember that one time..." stories? Will you pass with regret? Or with a smile knowing you truly lived?


Do work. Add value. Kick some ass…but live life. Read books…for fun! Not just to increase your productivity! Go to the pool. Shoot hoops with your kid. See the world if you can or take long weekend trips around your state. Buy a tent and a fishing pole. Take a walk. Throw a snowball. Close the laptop at night and stargaze. Get up early…but not to “crush it” but to go watch a sunrise.


But stop with this always-hustling nonsense. I can't stress enough that you will regret it on your death-bed. You will regret the missed dinners, the vacations that you were “there” but not present and the missed opportunities to spend time with loved ones. You'll miss the coffee dates you put off, the books you didn't read, the novel you never got around to writing. Regret is so, so painful. And no award, no motivational podcast can ease that pain.


Life is so short. And you only get one.


Proceed accordingly.

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