Ah, the age old “kids today” argument. But it’s in a new guise – the participation trophy – argument. It goes something like “kids today are entitled because of participation trophies. They don’t know how to <fill in the blank point I’m trying to make>.”
Let me start with a story. In middle school, my son wanted to try out for his school’s basketball team. He did not make it and was devastated. Without prompting from my wife or I…he went to his coach and told him he wanted to still participate. Could he be the manager?
He became the manager. Learned new skills. Developed friendships and had a great season.
He participated. He didn’t win MVP. He didn’t score all the points (or any). But he pushed forward via participation.
You see, the other side of the participation/entitlement argument is: those that participated? They tried something new. They got active. They did something. They went outside of their comfort zone. By demeaning that…we’re essentially telling kids “if you can’t be first/the best/a winner…don’t try.” What terrible advice.
Every day, the organization I work for asks the team what they learned that day. What new thing was tried? We don’t ask what success happened. No mention of what “win” was achieved; rather…what was learned? What was tried?
Or in other words: What did you participate in?
Here we are…in an era where HR teams all over the planet are trying to figure out why we have such low employee engagement scores (hello, ‘participation’). We have swaths of folks completely unwilling to try new things or get out of their comfort zone (yep, participation) …but you, Ralph…you who peaked in high school want to crap on participation because you went to districts in high school baseball?
Cool.
I’m not sure at what point in society that we adopted and accepted the notion that if you’re going to try something…you must instantly be the best at it.
Or worse, that if you participate…even if you aren’t the best today, you better be the best by tomorrow.
Why does the end goal of picking up a new sport or a new skill have to end with becoming a “rockstar?” I play a little guitar…I have zero intention of ever being a recording artist. Yet our society looks at that and thinks: “then why bother?”
I love playing volleyball. I’m 5’11. I’ll never be in the Olympics. I’ll never win awards, accolades or be “the best.” And I don’t even care. I love participating. How is that deemed “less” than not even trying? In many minds, I shouldn’t even waste my time playing…because I won’t be the best. Or that I’m somehow less because I’m not “committed” to being the best. How absurd.
Or on this very blog…shouldn’t it be a “side-hustle?” Shouldn’t the goal be to create nine more blogs and live off the passive income?
Seriously…how did we get here? Either don’t participate or else if you do…you better be “the best?” That sounds miserable. That the only outcome of trying something new is to become famous or rich off of it.
And, look, I humble brag about my kiddo all the time…he’s got a wicked-smart math brain (don’t tell him…but I’m pretty sure he can out math me) he absorbs information stupid-fast…
…but I’m equally proud of the times he tries and fails. I don’t lecture him about how to get better, I praise him for getting out of his comfort zone and trying. Not just because that’s the measure of long-term success…but because it teaches us how to deal with failure. It teaches us how to navigate the ups and downs of learning. It encourages trying.
Please explain how we’ve decided to take a crap on that?! And turn ‘participation’ into a insult?
Nothing was ever achieved without trying and failing, nothing learned without failure…and yet, Ralph the 40-something, beer-belly keyboard warrior wants to point to his glory days in high school whilst judging the kid who tried something new? Laugh at a “participation trophy?”
Fuck off, Ralph. Sincerely Someone Who Loves To Participate.
To the kids who participated? To the kids who tried? The kids who failed and tried again? Keep trying. Have fun with new things. Enjoy the experience.
You are the ones who will change the world. Not Ralph.
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