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Writer's pictureBrian W Arbuckle

My First Career Failure

Ignoring opportunity is just as bad as choosing the wrong one.

As another year comes to a close, it's time to reflect on the positives and negatives of the year; it's time to put a proverbial bow on our learnings and set goals for the new year.


I'm not sure if this is a "good" thing or a "bad" thing, but I often spend more time digging into my failures than I do my successes. For me, personally, I gain far more insights in dissecting missteps. And, frankly? I hate losing more than I like winning...so, I spend a lot of time trying to understand why things went off the rails!


As I reflected on my year I found myself going on a complete tangent. All the way back to my days at Mizzou (I warned you, complete tangent!); my senior year specifically. I was working for our school newspaper (The Maneater) selling advertisements. I didn't have classes on Fridays, so, I spent those days wandering the streets of Columbia and drumming up new business. I also got really lucky in landing a new business that put a lot of money into promoting themselves.


Long story short, I made a good chunk of money and I enjoyed what I was doing and loved the people I was doing it with! So, I made the decision that selling ads was my future!


At the time (and I'm sure this is still the case), the University of Missouri-Columbia's Business School did an amazing job with bringing in big time companies to do recruitment fairs. And this is where my first career failure occurred: I went to exactly zero of those events. No mock interviews. No resume reviews. I had my blinders on and ignored every company that came to recruit us students.


I was so hell-bent on selling newspaper ads. I was steadfast in my belief that this particular career was what I was meant for. So much arrogance for being so young. And so very wrong.


I begged my way into a newspaper...and landed a job selling advertisements to 501(c)(3) and churches. In order to hit goals, I had to service over 100 active accounts per week. And I was miserable.


At the time, I thought that it was because I was selling to churches and felt morally conflicted hence why I wasn't happy. But as the years have removed the emotions of that first year I've realized that I was actually really angry at myself.


I limited my opportunities. I turned down conversations. I let pride and ego take me down a path instead of exploring who I was, what made me tick and where I actually wanted to go. Those conversations I ignored? Represented incredible opportunity to help me figure these things out. And I squandered it. Missed opportunities hurt the most.


It was a hard lesson. And one that had long term repercussions. I was in that position for less than a year before I quit on the spot one day. And I was completely lost. Eventually, I stumbled into another role; one that I was not ready for. Truthfully? I took it as a "stop-gap" thinking it would just be a bridge job until I figured out my next steps. But I found myself surrounded by a nurturing, teaching group of people. They allowed me to fail gracefully and learn from it.


But more importantly, they allowed me to self-direct my career. I asked to take on projects that existed in the white-spaces of what my "defined" role was and they allowed it. I launched projects that were successful and some that were not-so-successful. But each time I had an idea, I was given the opportunity to pitch it and the rope to experiment.


It's in this role that I learned that I should have never been focused on "a job." Or even a career or career-path. It runs counter-intuitive to what we're told. We're told to find a career we love and then climb the ladder. We believe that success rests with us becoming "I" shaped, meaning, deep-subject-matter-experts; in only one subject. But that assumes that we, as individuals, are static creatures. We are not. We grow. We change. And what we wanted yesterday may not be (and probably won't be) what we want tomorrow.


Becoming "I" shaped, pigeon-holes us into one, locked career-path. While that may be necessary for some (doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc), those of us in business need to become T-shaped (meaning having both broad skills as well as some deep-expertise) or X-shaped (that's a whole other blog post!).


So, as this year closes out...I hope you learn a few things from my first career failure:


Don't look for a job or even a career. Look for an environment that allows you to experiment, fail, grow and push the boundaries of your skills. Getting paid to learn new skills that will help you find a better paying role? That's exactly why the phrase "win-win" was created!


Always have the conversation. Even if it looks like a dead-end. Talking is free. It's far better to look back on a conversation and think "that was a waste of 30 minutes" vs "if only I had taken that conversation!"Don't let your ego get in the way. Ever. There is always room to learn something. There's always something you don't know. And there's always another way to think about something.


Determine what "shape" you are: I-shaped, T-shaped or X-shaped and find managers/environments that support that.


Lastly, it's a bit early, but I want to wish you, your family, friends and loved ones a happy holiday season! And my wish to you going into a new year is for you to embrace and live one of my favorite quotes:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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