“I suppose it’s like the ticking crocodile, isn’t it? Time is chasing after all of us.”
I’ve always had a bit of Peter Pan to me. Never wanting to “grow up.” In fact, as a kid…other kids using the phrase “grow up” as an insult felt less like an insult and more like a threat.
I read comic books, played with toys, had recurring dreams that I could fly and had an enormous imagination. To keep other kids from making fun of me, my parents finally had to sit me down and tell me that Santa wasn’t real…and through teary-eyes I asked “what about the Easter bunny and tooth fairy?”
You can call it naivety…but, I believed in magic. I believed in a world where anything was possible. I still do, just maybe not quite the same way.
We’re in such a rush to “grow up” that we don’t think about the unintended consequences…the loss of innocence and watching the magic around us fade into the background.
Despite growing older, I played with toys in secret…unwilling to “grow up” and conform to what other kids my age thought was cool. And it wasn’t the toys in and of themselves. I built worlds with those toys. My imagination stretched to the limits…I imbedded personality into the toys, crafted narratives, and story lines and when I came back the next day…added to those stories.
I added layers and layers of complexity into the story lines…keeping them etched into my memory such that days and weeks could go by…and I’d be working on the story in my subconscious; not missing a beat when I returned to the field of battle.
I’m a decent story writer and storyteller today because of those activities not in spite of them.
I still have a box of my old toys. Some I’ve given to Colin, others, I kept for myself. While I don’t pull them out and “play” anymore…they serve as a reminder that growing up is optional. I used to play toys with Colin when he was little…we play video games together and watch cartoons and sci-fi shows…we use our imagination, and we dream about all the future possibilities.
Time is undefeated. We all lose. And yet we’re all in such a rush to “grow up.” To impress people we don’t really care about. To keep appearances up and avoid ridicule. And the funny thing is? We’re living in the “golden age” of nerd right now.
Comic books are literally coming to life on the big screen. People walking around with Captain America shirts and talking about the latest DC or Marvel gossip. These stories and characters that I loved are discussed everywhere now, yet, in middle school I got made fun of for loving the exact same stories and characters. But now, it’s suddenly “cool.”
I wish I could go back and tell my past self to ignore the bullies. Ignore the ridicule. Be true to myself. Those bullies, with their lack of imagination and inability to see what’s possible...that was the real tragedy.
I still believe in magic. I still build worlds in my mind and push the boundaries of what’s possible. I tell my family often about my dreams of the future…whether or not we achieve those dreams is irrelevant. Dreaming is the framework of your goals. Dreams identify your passions and help you realize what’s important to you, so you can work towards them.
“Growing up” is about confronting who you are and accepting ones self. Not conforming to norms, not accepting other people’s version of “growing up.” Children do what they are told; being told to “grow up” and listening to that? Means you’re still a child.
Dream. Dream out-loud. Believe that anything is indeed possible…because it is. There are times in our lives where simply putting one-foot-in-front-of-the-other is the best we can do and what we should be doing. Sometimes we just have to make it through a day. But if we do that our entire lives? That's just a slow march to the grave.
While we may need to "grow up" and leave the things of our childhood behind; take on the mantel of responsibility...nothing says you need to leave your dreams behind as well.
Want to know one last secret? I still dream that I can fly. And I hope I continue to have that dream until the very end…
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