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Writer's pictureBrian W Arbuckle

Service-as-a-Service

Spend money to get new customers. Then treat customers like a liability. What?

The title of this article is a bit tongue-in-cheek. I, like most of you, am pretty tired of the "as-a-service" verbiage. But it does help describe my point.


I recently returned from vacation where I rented a condo in the Rockies. The company I rented from was friendly, responsive and helpful...until they got my money.


After sending in my reservation money, I received a "welcome package." I was excited to read more about the area and the condo I rented. However, instead of seeing these things I was treated like a liability. Of the ten-page "welcome" package, three of those pages were threats...I mean, "terms and conditions."


A few samples:


  • If more than three cars are in the driveway, we will deduct $50 from your damage deposit.

  • If you don't clean the grill plates, we will deduct $40 from your damage deposit.

  • If we receive noise complaints, we will deduct $200 from your damage deposit.

There's probably a fee for bitching about their fees that I overlooked (bill me!). Now, my lawyer friends out there will think "what's wrong with that? That's good ol' fashioned cover-your-ass!"


And therein lies the problem. We spend so much time, effort and money in attracting a new customer. We finally get one and our first document we send to the new customer? Threats! I mean, the Ts & Cs. How do you think that makes a new customer feel? Imagine my reaction "hey! I'm really excited for my vacation...ohhh, look! A welcome package!"


And then I read the three-pages of threats. Ts & Cs, I mean (sorry, I keep doing that!). And I go from feeling like a welcomed customer to a liability.


I just handed over my hard-earned money and now you make me feel like I owe you something? I'm somehow a risk that you need to mitigate? For the privilege of being your customer, I better do all of these things...or else?


I have a whole other post dedicated to the buying of real estate, but one more example stands out. I let the mortgage company I'm working with know I would be out of town for the week. I get an email the very next day "if you don't complete these forms in the next 48 hours we may not be able to process your loan."


Are you kidding? Who is the customer here? And didn't I just notify you I would be gone? Again, I'm paying you!


Look, I understand the need to set expectations for customers and "cover-our-asses." But the Ts & Cs created by most companies are lazy. Written by lawyers, for lawyers. The whole "customer-service" promise goes out the window once you actually become a customer.


My challenge to you: extend "service" beyond attracting new clients. Create terms and conditions sheets that make the customer feel valued and welcomed as a customer without laying out stark threats, forcing them to comply. Remember, every document, every interaction is "marketing."


Here's what I would have done with the above Ts and Cs:


  • If your party needs more than three parking spaces in the driveway, let the office know and we will issue more passes for a nominal $50 charge.

  • We've provided a grill and propane for you! After you're finished, you may either clean it yourself or our staff is happy to do it for you for $40."

  • We have several other rental properties around you. Just as you'd like your peace and quiet, those around you do as well. We have had to reimburse customers in the past for noisy neighbors and that reimbursement tends to be $200 per instance and we've had to ask the offending party to pay that. Please be courteous.

Took me all of three minutes to make these Ts & Cs go from threatened to a valued customer being offered additional services.


Keeping current customers coming back to you is far cheaper than attracting new ones. And? If you treat customers like customers instead of liabilities? You'll have an edge on all of your competition!

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