I want you to go and take a look at any political social media post and then read the comments. Absurd, yes? Such a huge number of us acting like children. Tell me, when’s the last time you’ve seen a social media “debate” not become a shouting match with insults being hurled? I’ll wait.
Next question: when’s the last time you posted some political/social diatribe and someone said “wow, I’ve totally changed my mind about my closely held beliefs!” Again, I’ll wait.
Which leads me to the final question: Why do it? Why engage? Do we honestly think posting and commenting on social media will have any kind of positive outcome?
Do you truly believe that the cute (by cute, I mean demeaning) “meme,” the political rant WITH ALL CAPS, and the ever present “do your research” posts change peoples’ political or social ideology and dogma?
Or is it that the real reason we post is because we feel so powerless against the machinations of an out-of-touch government? Does our posting on social media give us an outlet to feel like we have some semblance of control? Is it that we are so desperate to have our voice heard…that we feel posting on social media accomplishes that? PS—the answer is likely all of the above.
The reality of posting political diatribe on social media is this: it doesn’t change anything.
Nada.
Nothing.
Here’s why--political and social ideology is a “hearts and minds” problem. Not facts and figures. Not data. Not logic. Dogma is about emotional attachment. Political leanings are often more about personal identification; who I am and what I believe are closely intertwined.
Changing hearts and minds with a meme? Sounds absurd when you think about it and yet, we persist.
Two And Only Two Outcomes
When we post a political opinion on social media there are two and only two possible outcomes:
1. People who already align with your position…will agree with you.
2. People who are not aligned with your position…will disagree with you.
There is no third option. Your meme? Doesn’t cause someone to flip their philosophical/political/societal beliefs. Your well thought out rant? Doesn’t cause people to stop and think. Because we are again, dealing not with facts…but emotions.
Not only is the rant wasted effort, but the only thing you will create is more angst and frustration. I get it, you have “facts” and “data!” And your 372 followers NEED to hear what you’re about to say!
Full stop. People who agree with you, will agree with you; people who don’t agree with you…won’t agree with you.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
“But,” you are thinking to yourself “I told people to do their research. AND I POSTED IT IN ALL CAPS!”
When you write “do your research” do you truly believe someone stops in their tracks and thinks “golly-gee, I SHOULD do my research, I mean…they wrote it IN ALL CAPS, so, yeah! Let’s research!”
The only “research” being done is looking to skewed sites in order to continue to support a skewed view. Very few of us do objective research with a truly open mind. We’re all addicted to confirmation bias. Because again, this isn’t a ‘data’ play…this is about ideology and dogma. It’s about changing someone’s closely held…20,30,40 years-or-more old belief system.
Can you look in the mirror and say you’ve conducted truly objective research and changed your mind in recent history on a subject you were passionate about? And you just flipped the other direction? Honestly?
“-Ist” and “-Ism”
No matter what side of the political fence you sit on…the other side will, inevitably, call you an “ist” or accuse you of an “ism.” Virtually every single debate.
How sad. In order to try and “win” an argument that we stoop to that level. And it is stooping. There are no winners once we reduce ourselves to this level.
Don’t get me wrong and I want this to be crystal clear: there are real “ists” out there and terrible cases of “isms” too; that being said, do you really believe someone who leans one way or the other politically should instantly be labeled one of these terrible names? Do you know someone well enough based on one or two social media posts to lump them into such ugly categories? Here’s the bigger question…
…you instantly labeling them a truly awful label based on a social media argument, does that say more about them or about you?
Further, we are desensitizing ourselves to these very real and very dangerous ideologies. Let’s reserve these labels to call out actions and behaviors that truly are clear and present dangers to the welfare and well-being of those that are being threatened.
Unfriend Me
We’ve all seen the rant that ends with “if you don’t think the way I do, unfriend me.” I’m going to say something bold here...that’s a cowardly approach. Do it yourself. Man-up/woman-up. If your ego is so fragile that someone with a differing philosophy than you is connected to you on social media? "They" may not be the one with the issue.
“But they are an ‘ist’ or exhibiting ‘ism’!” And your answer to that is an angry rant of “defriend me?”
Remember my earlier section “two and only two outcomes?” You’re asking the people who disagree with you to unfriend you. So, what is your social media rant going to do when your only followers are those who already think like you?
So then…why post the rant at all? If you're creating your own echo chamber (by having those that disagree with you de-friend you), is your political post/rant just an exercise in virtue signaling?
One of my favorite all-time poems is Desiderata. There’s a line that says:
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
This line is the path forward to winning hearts and minds.
Hearts and Minds
I think we can all agree that we feel powerless to some degree. I’m hoping some of you are realizing that rants on social media aren’t effecting change. So, what do we do?
We’re battling for hearts and minds. And that battle is won or lost 1-on-1. Let me ask this, in the digital age, why are there so many political rallies? Bus tours? Hell, even door-to-door meet-and-greets for local government officials?
Because face-to-face conversations is how we change hearts and minds.
You want to create change? Volunteer to get more voters to register. Volunteer to work with your local representatives. And my most radical suggestion?
Buy someone who disagrees with you a cup of coffee.
Yep.
Invite them to coffee and offer to listen. But, here’s the rub. Truly listen to understand…not to respond. Let them share their viewpoints. Let them share why they believe the way they do. And when they are done? Ask them if you can do the same!
If they say no…you’ve learned something new; you have a new understanding of how to win someone else’s heart and mind that has the same political leanings. If they say yes? You can share your philosophies in a constructive manner.
We change the world by winning over hearts and minds, one at a time…not through social media rants IN ALL CAPS and not by insulting our fellow man.
Stop using the excuse of “well, THEY call me names, THEY tell me to do my research, THEY post their vitriol, so why can’t I?” We can’t fight against the things we don’t want to be…by becoming the very thing we’re fighting against.
Turning the other cheek and walking away is hard on our ego and pride…but if the other person brings you down to their level, who won?
The definition of insanity is to continue to do the same things repeatedly whilst expecting a different result. You’ve tried it your way. You’ve posted rants IN ALL CAPS, told people to do their research, called people an “ist” and posted memes. It didn’t work. Try something different.
What’s the worst thing that can happen? Nothing changes. You’re no worse off than before.
The best thing? You walk away with new a understanding and the hope that you’ve planted a seed in someone else to help them see the world differently.
Isn’t that hope worth it?
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