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Writer's pictureBrian W Arbuckle

Stay Present


Time is a fickle beast, yes? I can describe, in detail, the first vacation we took with Colin. He was a toddler and we went to San Diego with my parents and his nanny.


We were terrified. Would he travel well? Would he cry on the plane? Would he get sick? What did we forget?


Blink-of-an-eye later? He’s 15. I snapped this picture in secret as I sat on the floor packing up from our latest adventure.


Reality came crashing down on me in that moment; the reality of how fast it’s gone. How many trips we’ve gone on…versus….how many are left. It used to be that we had way more trips left to take than trips we had taken. Now, sadly, that ratio has dramatically shifted.


I have to fight to stay in the moment; to stay present. I have to fight to keep myself from skipping to the end of the journey…because there are still adventures to be had. Focusing on the fact that “the end” is coming…robs the joy from the reality that there are still journeys to be had.


And that lesson, is a life lesson. We go through these phases in life where we want to skip ahead. For me, I begged the universe to let me skip ahead during middle school and even parts of high school.


New parents often wish they could skip through the newborn who cries in the middle of the night phase. Skip teething or potty training! We want to skip ahead; we think about “how great it will be when my baby sleeps through the night.”


But you won’t get those 1AM snuggles back.


In our careers we want to skip through the early days of a new job…the boring on-boarding, the awkward introductions. The bad days.


But skipping ahead robs us of the joy of overcoming the bad day. Skipping ahead robs us of the joy of drinking-from-the-firehose-learning that occurs in those early days.


Staying present in the moment is one of the hardest skills today. There are so many distractions waiting to teleport us hours/days/weeks/years into the future.


To the new grads who “can’t wait” to not be the new employee…live in the moment. I love seeing younger people come into work for the first day, all of the nervous excitement. I miss that energy. And someday? You will too.


To the junior employees who “can’t wait” to be the manager…live in the moment. There’s a quote that says “heavy is the head that wears the crown.” Management is hard. And many of us in management sometimes dream of less responsibility. Your time will come if you work towards it…but stay present in your current role. Learn the lessons. Enjoy the freedom.


And to you, senior employees, whose eyes are perhaps on retirement…you too need to stay in the moment. There’s so much you can teach and pass on. There’s still much for you to accomplish and learn. Retirement is waiting for you…it’s not going anywhere, so, embrace today.


And to you parents of younger kids or parents-yet-to-be: I envy you so much. Your journey is just beginning. You have so many adventures ahead of you. Stay present. Even during the 1AM teething cries…the diaper diving (if you know, you know!)…everyone will tell you it “goes by so fast.” Believe them. No matter how present you are as a parent…it feels like there is always some amount of regret; moments you missed or thought you missed.


Mentally skipping ahead will only make the regret so much worse.


As for me? I, too, will stay present in the moment. My eyes firmly set on our adventures today instead of on the divergent fork in the road that is coming sooner than I dare to admit.

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