The other day, Marly and I received an unsolicited email from one of Colin’s teachers:
I copied your parents on this e-mail so that all of you know how fantastic Colin has done in this course so far. He has gone so far above and beyond in creating good work. Doing this online stuff is tough and I applaud all of you for coming together as a team and supporting Colin.
This year has presented us many, many challenges. One of the hardest ones was the decision to send our son to either in-person classes or have him stay home and engage in virtual learning.
There were a lot of variables to consider. My wife is technically immune compromised. On the flip-side, Colin was accepted into several accelerated courses and we were worried virtual learning would put too much on his shoulders. He’s a bit of a worrier as it is…so, we were also concerned he would spend time at school more worried about masks and distancing than actually learning. We were concerned about the lack of social interaction. On and on. For every pro, a con.
Ultimately, we decided on virtual. It’s been tough. No sugar coating it. We are his primary source of social interaction through the day…and he’s a talker. His teachers are doing their best with Zoom calls and being available for phone calls…but it is harder than being in person to understand some of the materials. During the day it often falls on us to drop what we’re doing to support him. And, by the way, remembering geometry from 25 years ago…ain’t easy!
I struggled with putting this blog together and I’ve hesitated posting. It’s hard right now, for everyone. I don’t want this post to come off as condescending. There are parents and guardians out there trying to figure out hybrid or virtual. Maybe their young charge has special needs or learning challenges; perhaps the parent or guardian is flying solo and working at the same time while trying to do this home-learning stuff. There are so many unique cases that are far harder than the situation we find ourselves in.
That said I have a life-philosophy that I’ve drilled into Colin since an early age: attitude determines altitude. And so, we embraced the situation; we committed to learning new skills. We knew it was going to be hard...so we started identifying and focusing on opportunities; not just the challenges.
Because of virtual learning, I introduced Colin to OneNote. He now takes notes on OneNote. He can create categories within notes, make highlights, screen captures…it’s a whole new approach for him that he hasn’t been exposed to before. And he has fully embraced it. I think even when in-person school is back on the table he will keep this new process up.
He is learning how to go out to various resources online for extra help. Khan Academy, YouTube and even Google to help him gap-fill things he doesn’t understand; he’s becoming self-guided in his learning. He’s calendaring out his day…on his own. Setting aside time for learning, studying, Zoom calls, tests and homework assignments. As a freshman, he’s reaching out to teachers and asking them for additional learning materials. He is becoming his own advocate. At 14.
I fully believe that these skills are the real skills of tomorrow. We aren’t a factory-based society anymore. Memorization and regurgitation is over. We’re becoming a knowledge-and-application based society. Learning how to learn is the fundamental skill of tomorrow. Knowing how to go out and use various resources to create your own learning process cannot yet be fully appreciated.
But I also knew I had to start with myself and Marly. We couldn’t focus on the negatives. We couldn’t complain and we had to re-frame the situation for all of us. We had to talk about the opportunity. We continue to talk about how these skills will help him accelerate his learning. These skills are skills his peers will have to learn on their own at some point. And he’s getting to learn these skills and apply them in real-world scenarios.
He’s learning how to leverage technology to support him. And while we’ve had bumps and bruises already, he’s keeping up in his schoolwork. I get to watch the proverbial light-bulb go on for him throughout the day. He will be struggling with a concept in the morning and by the afternoon he’s walking me through an example that showcases his understanding.
I’m even taking time through the day to talk to him about finance, investing and managing money. I think most of us adults wish we would have had more concrete education in school about these life-fundamentals!
Every challenge we face in life has another side to it: the opportunity. I’m not suggesting we dismiss or ignore the frustrations and struggles of our challenges, but I am suggesting we frame up the opportunity alongside the challenge.
Virtual learning is full of struggles and my job is to ensure that the juice is worth the squeeze. By showing Colin how to create his own learning path, to seek out additive learning materials, to leverage technology to support him and become his own advocate? The struggle will more than pay for itself in the long run.
Is the social side of school impacting him? Of course. But we’re making alternative plans. Texting, FaceTime, driveway visits and even letter writing (seriously). But again, it’s about framing. He knows this isn’t a “forever” situation; we’re “embracing the suck” and finding creative outlets. Just because something isn’t the “ideal” doesn’t mean we throw in the towel, complain and wallow or worse give up. We experiment, learn and improve…with learning and with our social engagement.
If we don’t tie an opportunity to our challenge, we go through the pain of that challenge for nothing. If, however, we learn something…gain something from the challenge? The pain and suffering was for a greater good…we became better from our struggle. And perhaps in doing so, we did more than balance the scales, perhaps we tipped them in our favor.
To all of you parents who are struggling through this year, hang in there. It's not forever. Do your best to find those good things that can come from this and focus on them. We'll get through this...and if we support our kids, cheer for them, show them the opportunities? They will adapt, overcome and change our world for the better.
I truly believe this.
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