As fall begins to settle in, we’re squeezing out the last fruits from our garden. Herbs are being collected, dried and put into jars; fall green beans are being plucked.
I’m a classic “city boy.” I know next to nothing about a garden despite the above. When we moved into our house, the former owners had an herb garden (read: mostly a place for weeds to grow out of control) and we decided to till it all up and grow a vegetable garden.
My wife was a farm girl, literally. She has “slopped hogs.” So, we felt we were well equipped to try a garden.
We were so very wrong.
There’s this pervasive attitude floating around the world that we should be in control of everything. Every variable should be accounted for. If something doesn’t work out? It’s because you didn’t work hard enough.
What a load of crap.
Our first-year potato crop was incredible! We had no idea what we were doing and we had over one hundred pounds of potatoes! We were naturals.
Year 2? So. Much. Rain! It rotted out the potatoes. We dug up exactly ZERO potatoes. How many hours of work should I have put in to salvage the potatoes? Clearly I missed my KPIs and didn’t out-hustle Mother Nature, right? If only I had “crushed it” more, the rain would have stopped…the sun come out…and abundant potatoes would have sprouted. Sounds ridiculous, yes? Not according to every Linked In influencer who is reading this thinking “yes! Out hustle Mother Nature! Boom!”
The reality is: stuff happens. And worse? Stuff happens that is completely out of our control (Hello Covid-19!). No amount of “hustle” no “KPI” could have averted the impact we all felt from a worldwide shut down. And it’s foolish to preach otherwise.
The real reason we cling so tightly to the illusion that we can control everything is because the alternative is scary as hell. But that alternative is fact: we aren’t in control of everything.
We must give up the illusion that we can out-work/out-hustle things outside of our control.
Because that acceptance is freedom.
Acceptance is so important because there are only so many hours in a day; only so many resources available. If we continue to think we can control every variable? We stretch ourselves too thin and miss out on controlling the things we can control.
Each year, a garden brings its’ own set of unique challenges, which, ironically enough is no different than every year in life. There are variables you won’t account for, variables that are outside of your control. You’ll try to tell yourself “I should have seen it coming…” or “I should have done something about it.”
But it’s consolation at best. We are still trying to convince ourselves that it was within our control because we’re scared to admit that life is sometimes unpredictable, circumstances uncontrollable. And that’s terrifying.
But we need to look at these challenges differently. We need to look at these variables through a new lens. Each year, when I am confronted with a beetle invasion or a monsoon or a lack of phosphorus…I learn something new! I may not have "won" and I may have been caught flat-footed, but, I have learned valuable lessons. Maybe I can lessen an impact or intercept beetles sooner now that I know what to look for. I still can't control those things, but I'm better prepared for them.
The same is true in our challenges within our work and our lives. Each challenge presents an opportunity to learn lessons. To be better prepared. It's entirely possible that these variables stay outside of our control, but we can learn how to cope and reduce the impact they have. That's a win!
For me, my garden has taught me patience and acceptance, two things I continually struggle with. I’m one of those that thinks if you plant a seed today, the plant better be blooming tomorrow or I’ve failed.
I’m learning to trust the process, learn from mistakes and accept things that are outside of my control. And despite the many challenges that bested me this year, I’m already making plans for next spring to take what I learned from this season and improve the garden next season.
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