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Writer's pictureBrian W Arbuckle

Why > What


Show of hands – how many of you are in the "I don’t know what I want to do with my life” phase? It can hit anyone, but is particularly fierce on those of us that are *cough* more seasoned.


Before I get into it, I want to start with a quote from one of my favorite philosophers – Yoda:


All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was.

We’re always looking for the next role that we believe will make us feel fulfilled.


We’re always chasing a meaningful job versus finding meaning in our current role. We’re told “if you love what you do – you’ll never work a day in your life.” And it’s such garbage advice.

There’s not a single life activity that we do…that doesn’t come with some hardships. Having a baby is a magical experience – until they puke all over you.


Getting that new puppy who is soooooo cute….until she takes a nice, fresh poop on your carpet.


Work is no different. It will always carry with it things that you don’t “love.” There will be days that it does indeed feel like work. Then what? Maybe you’re not “passionate” about that thing anymore? We’re setting ourselves up for failure when we focus on the “what” of our job; and needing to be ‘passionate’ about the what.


Let’s say you’re “passionate” about travel. You join a company that sells travel. But the culture is toxic. It’s filled with demeaning employees, no supportive leadership and no opportunity for growth. Still “passionate” about that job? Probably not.


At its fundamental core – a job is nothing more than trading your time for money. Spend 40 hours a week at the office, get a paycheck. An exchange of time for money. Yes, there are deliverables, and activities – but again, at it’s core, time for money.


Time is the single most important resource anyone on the planet has. It’s impossible to make more of it. The time you spend on an activity can never be refunded.


What this all means is that there has to be more to work than the work itself. Passion or not. It must be meaningful and fulfilling.


But what is “meaningful work?” I saw a post on Linked In where some hustle-bro talked about leaving vacation early because he loves his work so much. Someone asked him what he was in – long story short…he worked on something…that supported another company…that supported a hospital’s billing system. And he ended it with “if I don’t do my job, you could be in the hospital one day and die.”


Now, I’m not entirely sure if he was being serious – I suspect he was – but I do know a lot of folks who do these kinds of mental gymnastics to justify the time they spend at work. But the reality is? What we do isn’t nearly as important or fulfilling as why we do something. And that’s where meaning comes from. The why.


We have to find meaning and fulfillment beyond the what. Selling widgets and turning knobs will always feel empty and meaningless if you only focus on the widget or the knob. But if you instead focus on growth – personal and professional…if you instead focus on helping others grow and find meaning…it won’t matter if you’re selling widgets or saving puppies – you’ll feel fulfilled. The exchange on your time for that fulfillment will feel right.


Going back to parenting – there are many activities within parenting that I don’t love; there are “what” activities that I do not enjoy. They feel like work. So, am I not “passionate” about my son? Of course not. But my ‘why’ behind doing them – to support, care for and help my son find his place in this world? That brings me meaning and fulfillment. The “what” is irrelevant - so long as the why fulfills me.


So stop thinking about “what you want to do with the rest of your life” and think more about your why. Then find organizations whose why align with yours (bonus lifehack: if who you’re interviewing with can’t define their ‘why’ move on). Meaning and fulfillment will follow, regardless of what you find yourself doing.


Can’t define your why? It could be the reason you haven’t found what you’re looking for. Because you just don’t know – yet. Get started.



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