When this pandemic started, I had a lot of grandiose ideas of what I was going to accomplish. I was going to read more, write more…really dial-in on my language studies. Workout more.
None of it has happened.
I’ve written less, read less…haven’t done any language studies. And my workouts have been reduced while dealing with an injury.
I’ve been pretty disappointed with myself. Until yesterday.
Being on “lock-down” I’ve been having a lot more phone calls with customers, partners and business associates. Often times, these calls take interesting twists and turns and can even become philosophical (sorry all of you “hustle-culture” bros, I’m sure that sounds like wasted productivity! I should totally be put on a performance plan!).
During a call yesterday, I was lamenting about my lack of commitment to my original goals…but also found myself talking about my son. He’s 14. I started saying “I didn’t think I’d ever get the opportunity to spend full-days with him again. I thought those days were gone.”
And then I started talking about how it’s been hard on him to not have friends to hang out with and play with, so my wife and I have had to step into the “friend” role. We shoot hoops together most days, or play pool. Every day I eat lunch with him and we watch a “daddy-dude” show (usually a superhero cartoon). On weekends, we often find ourselves in the garden or sitting on the deck, drinks in hand and just hanging out. No pressure to be anywhere or do anything. Just sitting and enjoying. We have taken more walks together in the last few weeks than the last few years combined!
And as I was talking all of that out, I realized the plans I had made (reading more, writing more…etc) weren’t nearly as important as what took their place. I know one thing for sure:
This pandemic is temporary.
And because this pandemic is temporary, I know that spending every day with my 14-year-old is temporary; shooting hoops with him virtually every day is temporary and having lunch with him every day is temporary.
But I’ll also remember this time with him for the rest of my life and, hopefully, he’ll remember it the rest of his. I won’t remember the books I didn’t get to read during this time nor the words I didn’t learn from my language studies.
It’s like the lyrics from the Rolling Stone's song “you can’t always get what you want, you get what you need.” Maybe I didn’t need to read another book…not right now at least. Perhaps I didn’t need to write more blogs…not right now. It's possible that I needed one more go-around with my son. One more chance where it’s just us. High school is around the corner and then? He’s off on his own adventure. The clock is ticking.
Look, that’s not to say I’m happy that this virus hit nor that I'm grateful that it’s impacted so many people in terrible ways. That’s not my point. But we took something ugly (the pandemic) and turned it into the most limited commodity we have: time.
That time has created memories and given us one more chance to focus on just the three of us. To delay the inevitable for just a little while longer.
May not be what I wanted to accomplish when this all started, but perhaps…that’s what I needed.
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